This is how you became a charACTer in the play of life….
Remember that time you opened up to someone in your youth? You were expressing how you felt about something, and you got a ‘look’ from that person that made you feel that you’d better stop talking.
So, you did.
You shut up, swallowed words, swallowed big things that you naturally, had wanted to release and share.
You began to seek out subtle reactions to you of people all around you — subtle looks of disappointment, looks that said: ‘You’re too much,’ ‘you’re too honest,’ ‘you’re not enough,’ ‘you’re too loud,’ ‘you’re too confident,’ ‘you’re too shy,’ ‘you’re too real,’ ‘you’re too out-there’, ‘you’re too sensitive’ or ‘you’re too YOU.’
Most of these reactions towards you from others, were never spoken, but my god, you felt them truer than any spoken words.
That ‘look’ in the reaction of another created feelings in you of shame, unworthiness, and a terror of being different, left alone, abandoned, not wanted.
That ‘look’ had to be avoided at all costs.
And that’s what created your charACTer which still plays out today.
The only reason your character exists is so that the ‘you’ inside can avoid that ‘look’ of others that creates the feelings that you don’t EVER want to feel.
The ‘you’ underneath your persona is doubtful and mistrustful. Defensive. Walled.
All the things in-fact that your character hides with its bravado and seemingly perfect and socially acceptable exterior.
For change to occur, for true happiness to be a reality in your life, you must drop your act and address your wounds within.
When you take the very necessary steps to heal the wounded you, your true you, will be unleashed….
The true you has a heart wide open and is waiting to EXPRESS, be seen and heard and felt and see, hear and feel in all her glory.
She waits to connect and to commune.
She is the one who wants to hug passing strangers and share a sandwich with them just because why not?!
She is the one who is a secret Amelie ..
Your true self is the one who is a secret change-maker, a bright, visionary spirit and system-shaker and matrix-breaker.
You may notice that your character in the play is malfunctioning at this very minute.
Getting tired, the guard dropping, wounds spilling out and just lately you are feeling some of those things you DON’T WANT TO FEEL.
YES, YOUR CHARACTER IS BREAKING DOWN.
COZ IT’S NOT REAL.
YOU ARE!!
You are real!
Since your character is malfunctioning, you may get the opportunity to realise that it was the ‘other’ that was uncomfortable with your pure, unfiltered truth-telling coz the other had learned to live a lie.
People living a comfortable lie don’t like truth tellers like you coz if they listened to you they would have to dissemble their whole reality which is based on a character that they too have been playing their whole life.
And some don’t wana change that. Can’t contemplate changing that. It would kill them to do that.
So now you get to see people’s reactions to you as they really are.
NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!
Your inner-standing of it all, your inner-standing of all of you, will set you free.
Your own truth, unleashed, will set you free.
And I offer some sincere advice for anybody this piece resonates with:
For me, talking to somebody in private who I didn’t know and who didn’t know me or my family helped me, massively, to release and realise things about myself and my family that had been keeping me veery stuck and veery unhappy up until my late 30’s.
Getting your truth out creates space inside to rearrange and remove old furniture — beliefs, habits and stuck and crippling unprocessed emotions and past pain.
In that space, magic happens.
Find someone to speak to that can hold space for you and LISTEN ( same letters as SILENT).
Do it for you.
Coz you bloody deserve it as much as anybody else on this planet.
MAKE THAT CHANGE.
DO IT….
Don’t put your happiness off one day longer.
Your True Self awaits.
